What do I do???

I am currently in my graduating semester. While I can’t wait to get out of NUS, I am still quite confused over whether I should start working right after graduation or continue my studies for a graduate degree. And this is where my father and I often log heads.

Personally, I would prefer to start working. I want to gain more work experience. I want to take chances and try working in different environment. Through this I hope to figure out what working style would suit me best. And I want to gain a better insight and understanding of what the various departments in the company does. Based on all this, I hope to be able to make a wiser decision in choosing the type of graduate degree program. Especially, since I am considering the possibility of changing my major for my graduate degree.

My father though is a little anxious about this. He is worried that if I do take a break from my studies, I may loose interest in pursuing a graduate degree. He is also worried that if I take a break I may find it more of a challenge to adapt back to the “learning mode”. Moreover, his values and views are strongly affected by the Indian culture. And in India, the vast majority of undergraduate students leap straight into their graduate studies. So part of his argument is that if the crowd follows a path, there has to be some valid reasoning behind it.

So my father and I keep going back and forth with our arguments. I do respect my father’s view. After all he is much more experienced and has my well being at heart. But I really would prefer working first. This is not only due to my reasoning mentioned above; I also have this nagging inexplicable “gut instinct” that working is what would be right for me. I do believe that he would ultimately give me the freedom of choice, but I would definitely prefer it if I could get his whole-hearted approval. Do you think my arguments are valid or reasonable enough? Or does is father’s concern more valid? How else could I make my father see my way?

Past. Present. Future. (Post for Week 2)

5 cities. 8 schools. 13 homes. This is the story of my life. My father had a transferable job, so relocation has always been an intimate part of my life. The immeasureable number of experiences from this constant change has made me who I am today. As exciting as it may sound now, I did have my fair share of challenges and difficulties. With each new journey, I was thrust into a completely new environment. I had to make new friends fast, understand the new educational system, learn the regional language and readjust to the new culture and lifestyle. In retrospect, it was during this transition period that I began to realize the importance of interpersonal relations and honest and open communication. I learned soon enough that having the support of one’s friends and the understanding of teachers made this transition a lot smoother.

In the more recent past, I’ve been intrigued about how people form opinions about others. What makes Goh Chok Tong or Barack Obama such great orators? What makes Jennifer Aniston the more popular “friend”, or Jim Jones (of Jonestown) such a compelling leader? At the common denominator, they are all effective communicators. They are able invoke from their audience the type of response they desire.

This led me to a good deal of self-reflection and self-awareness. I wanted to go a step further by bringing these subconscious subtleties (often manifested in what I often referred to as ‘gut instinct’) to a conscious level. I started reading books on body language. For instance, now I realize that the self-inflicted jokes that I so naively used to crack to “break the ice” when I was young, showed my vulnerable side, making me appear more human to my new classmates and hence more approachable.

I have just so much more to learn and realize about good communication skills, that taking this module seems like a natural choice to me. This is especially important to me for two main reasons. When I enter the working world soon, I know that through hard work and sheer determination, I would be able to grasp the technical skills required. But it is the more elusive soft skills that to me are of true value which (hopefully) would distinguish me as a leader. And isn’t good communication a mark of a good leader? And another important reason is that I want to travel the world, visit different places from the conventional to the exotic. I want to learn more about the different culture and get to know the people who live there. By improving on my communication skills and by being more aware of the non-verbal signals produced, I hope to make these trips more insightful and memorable.